I’m scared. I’m one of those people who has always struggled with sharing emotions with others vocally, but I can share them through writing as easy as I can breathe. I’m very nervous for my first day of school. I feel like I will go to sleep August 14 trying to convince myself I have a stomach ache. As much confidence as I have in myself, there is still that small amount of fear. The first day of school brings anxiety and a small amount of nervousness that you’re going to do horribly and get kicked out before you’ve even had the chance to prove yourself.
My independence and fear of pretty much nothing (except centipedes) are two things I hold very dear to my heart. Mostly, because it is with these two things that I have accomplished every wonderful thing that has happened in my life. I take chances, while they may not have always been the best choices because I wasn’t afraid to stick my foot out and learn something new.
I see starting school as the same type of situation. However for some reason with this, I feel like if I do fail, I will be letting down every single person who is rooting for me. I am probably one of the most positive people you will ever meet, also one of the most sarcastic, but for me to feel doubt over something is not usually the type of thing I would share with anyone. But I’m sure you can all keep a secret (wink).
However scared I may be, I am more excited. Every new challenge begins with fear, anxiety and doubt, but that doesn’t mean we let them take us down. Hell yes I’m going to succeed at school and it’s not to please everyone who supports me, but it’s because it’s what I want. It’s what I’ve always wanted. I have faith in myself and in my abilities. I know my limits and I know how hard I’ve worked to make it this far.
It talks about believing in the impossible, and I think it’s something we should do every day. It’s the same as dreaming about future goals. Although they may seem impossible at the moment, one day they might actually come true and it is that never ending belief that they may happen that keeps them alive within us. If we let a dream die because we believe it’s too impossible, then of course it will never happen.
For the past four years, people have been asking what culinary school I was planning on attending after graduation and without as much as a pause; I would reply Le Cordon Bleu. While some may see that as jinxing my chances of getting in, I looked at it as faith in what I knew I would accomplish one day. I believe in impossible things every day, not only does it make life a bit more interesting, but it gives you something to look forward to, no matter how far into the future it may be. Believe in what you want, no matter how crazy it may seem?
My impossible journey is starting this Friday with orientation. I’ll be learning about what is expected of me and meeting my new classmates. This is also the day I will receive my knives, my uniform and a whole slew of kitchen items! Tune in next week for all of the details of orientation and of my first day in culinary school!
Do any of you have impossible dreams that you think are silly to think about? And if so, why do you think it’s so silly? One can accomplish anything if that’s truly what they want to do.